sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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