I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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