Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Randomize
