found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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