i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
