she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
A bitchslap is in order.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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