I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
