okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
