im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
