he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
