**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
