yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
