isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
