Got a toothbrush?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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