We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
