Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
