Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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