we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
