just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
