just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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