Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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