you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm bleeding and have questions
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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