She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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