Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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