you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
