i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
