Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
