I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
