Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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