Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
