my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you had me at cake vodka
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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