if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
