The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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