Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
