i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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