you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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