i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
