So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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