The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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