I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
