U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
