I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
