If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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