Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
