then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
