just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
