i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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