He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
