haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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