I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
