how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
