The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
