Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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