i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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